He found love letters to his wife he did not write. He thought she was having an affair. “You should talk with our pastor,” his friend said. “I can’t,” he replied.  “The letters are from him.”

A small group of deacons asked the pastor to meet them at the church a few days later. The pastor resigned outside on the sidewalk when he realized his secret had been discovered.

I served the church as interim pastor immediately following the scandal. I never met the pastor. I studied his picture in the church directory, his picture and the picture of his wife and children. At the time I did not understand how a pastor could have an affair or recover from it.

I have seen people wreck their lives in all kinds of ways over the 25 years since then. Gradually I have come to understand that the techniques of destruction are interchangeable; the differences between drinking, drugging, infidelity, compulsive shopping, eating, or working are not meaningful. For example, although many people view working too much as almost admirable, the causes and consequences of work-a-holism and infidelity are remarkably similar.

How people make a mess of their lives is not important. What is important is accepting responsibility, getting needed help, and building new and better lives.

I have seen people renew their marriages, restart their careers, and regain their health from what looked like complete disaster. But there is no such thing as a complete disaster with God. He rescues the perishing… “My sheep have been attacked by wild animals that killed and ate them… I, the Sovereign LORD, tell you that I myself will look for my sheep and take care of them in the same way as shepherds take care of their sheep… I will bring them back from all the places where they were scattered… I will take them out of foreign countries, gather them together, and bring them back to their own land… I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I will find them a place to rest. I, the Sovereign LORD, have spoken (Ezekiel 34:8-15, Good News Translation).

www.mtmgeorgia.org published a version of this post previously.

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